The Ten Things I Hate About You
by Chaiyo
Summary: A diary entry about the ten things Riza hates about Roy. Oneshot.


Hey, I came across an article on the internet and it inspired me to write this one shot. Hope you enjoy

Disclaimer: I do not own any FMA characters.

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_The Ten Things I Hate About You _

_by Riza_

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was one of my worst days ever, because of Roy. He didn't get his paperwork turned in on time, so I got blamed. I got an angry ex-girlfriend of his to come and try to attack me, thinking that I was the reason he got dumped. And I had to stay overtime to finish all his work…Again. I really feel as though I should not work for him anymore. If I can name ten reasons why I hate him, then I will resign tomorrow._

**10. I Hate the Way You Tease Me**

Out of everybody in the office, Roy was the one who would tease everybody and get the least punishment from me, which I still don't know why. He even made teasing a routine. On Monday he would tease Havoc and Breda. On Tuesday he would tease Havoc and Falman. On Wednesday he would tease Breda and Fury. Thursday would be Falman, Havoc, and Fury. I was never sure shy Havoc got picked on the most, but it was always Havoc probably because his life always had something to make fun of. And Friday, it would always be me. Just me, alone. And then it was the weekend. But sometimes, Roy would just mix up these days of pranking and teasing, so that we could never be ready.

Although everybody loved Friday because it was the last day of the week before the blissful weekend, it was the day I hated the most. Every time the Colonel would walk into the office and I would say something insulting, he somehow always had a comeback ready that would make me embarrassed, as if he always had comebacks, but just never chose to say them to me. However, the rest of the week would be pain free, except for breaking up the fights between Havoc and the Colonel. But on those days he ignored me to tease the other subordinates; I would always feel left out and feel like I didn't get enough attention. I was confused.

**9. I Hate the Way That You Are My Boss**

Roy was always the messiest and the noisiest in the office. He'd leave crumbs on the floor when he was hungry and never, did he once bother to pick them up. When he would slumber off and it was time to wake him up again, Roy never bothered moving his paperwork so that he wouldn't drool on them and I wouldn't have to go and get a new set after waking him up by the gun. Every evening, when it was time for everybody to go home, he would always be talking to his one-night stands, leaving me to work overtime. And when he falls asleep working over time, he always snored, adding more to my irritation. How I wish I would already die sometimes and leave this wicked world. But I hate it the most when he's gone for the meetings or on his dates, and when I can't feel his irritating presence in the room. I hated being alone, as much as I enjoyed it.

**8. I Hate the Way You Stare and Smile**

Roy always had his ways with his subordinates, simply because he was our boss. He'd irritate all of us, sometimes the point where we would want to resign so we could murder him. But they all loved Roy as well, because without him, there wouldn't be a purpose in any of their lives. However, I believe I hate the Colonel the most. I hate the fact when Roy smiles devilishly at me thinking of ways to tease me on Fridays or to make my life of babysitting him more difficult. I always hated the fact when Roy stares at me when I'm doing something trivial. I hate the way that Roy randomly stared at me. I knew a person would stare at you when there was something wrong with you, or the other way round. I would in turn roll my eyes at him, and Roy would smile his devilish smile. But I hated the fact the most of the time I'm alone and I'm not given that much attention when I'm with Roy. I hated it.

**7. I Hate the Way You Work**

Roy sucks at working and staying on task and he admits it. Sometimes he was pretty good, but never as good as the rest of the members of the Mustang team: Falman, Fury, Breda, and yes, even Havoc. Roy would always get off task and mess up orders on his missions, just for his own practical jokes sometimes. I'm the type of person who wants to focus on what I'm doing, and I didn't want any type of little distractions such as Roy's antics to get in the way. I hated the fact that sometimes Roy would get all the credit and the promotion for what I did. I also hated it when there was too much work in the way and there was nobody to even make us laugh other than Havoc. I also hated it when Roy would be insulted and would not get the promotion he wanted, yet.

**6. I Hate the Way You Get Interested With My Belongings**

Roy was always fascinated by the fact that I had a purse outside the military, and loved it just as much as any girl. Sometimes, when the team and us would go out late at nights for a break, and I would have my purse with me, he would like to touch it and try to go through it without permission until I threatened him to stop. He'd always touch and fiddle with my jewelry, and sometimes just try and go through my bag. But I hated it when he didn't try to go through my bag at all, for some reason.

**5. I Hate It When I'm Alone and you're Not There**

I hated the fact when Roy wasn't around to cheer me up. Sure he was the most irritating person in the group, even ahead of Havoc, but Roy would be the only one to make me smile. I hated when I spent the sleepless nights worrying about Roy and his future and when I would just stare at my paperwork fretting over him. I hated it a lot.

**4. I Hate the Way You Make Me Smile**

I would always hate the fact when Roy wasn't there to make me smile. I hated the fact that Roy would always make me smile whenever he did something silly and when he sat next to me on the train to Central or to the East I hated the fact a lot because he didn't know that the only person that can make me smile as hell was Roy Mustang and the other subordinates would sometimes notice and I would always deny.

**3. I Hate It When You're Useless**

I feel very sad whenever he feels useless. Sure, I hate the fact that he was forgetful, careless, a lazy ass, and all that, but I was Team Mustang all the way. I hate it because he ruins my mood by me making him ruin his mood, if that makes sense. However, he could always walk away, just a couple of minutes after being called useless, and get straight back to work, as if it never happened. I will never know how he does it.

**2. I Hate It When You Know Something I Don't**

Even I had to admit, I was envious of Roy's knowledge in alchemy and battle tactics. I knew that Roy may not be the best at working and staying on task, but the way he would smart mouth me always made me smile for some reason. And when he would give me a smile, or a smirk, whatever the situation, and correct me, it for some reason always made me feel tingly all inside and made my heart beat fast and slow at the same time. Sometimes, I would hate the fact that he knew more about certain events that happened in our childhood, but I would always smile, knowing that he remembered it.

**1. I Hate the Way I Don't Hate You At All. Not Even Close, Not Even A Little Bit. Not Even At All. **

I would always hate Roy's imperfection, whether it was big or small. But I would always accept Roy for what he is, because he is different from other guys and bosses. And that's the reason I love him. I love Roy, because when I got teased by Roy, he would always apologize to me at the end of the day, sometimes even finishing some of my paperwork if it was very bad. I love Roy, because sometimes he will make an effort to be neat because he knows that I'm one hell of a neat freak. I love Roy, because when Roy smiles, my heart leaps. I love Roy, because he was able to do his own thing, and he is always working towards his goal. I love Roy, because Roy appreciates the work I do for him after hours, because Roy will sometimes take me out to dinner for a treat. I love it when Roy is at my side when I'm sad and tired. I love it when Roy makes me laugh and smile, because that's what we both need more of in our lives: smiling and laughing. I love it when Roy gets a step closer to his goal, because he always has a much calmer expression and has a happier aura to him. I love Roy, just because I can.

_Diary, I'm afraid to say that I cannot resign from my position as his right-hand man, simply because I can't even name ten reasons why I hate him. So tomorrow, I will warn you of more complaints, but I'm fine with it, as long as he gets a happily ever after._

_'Till tomorrow,_

_Riza_

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So what did you guys think? I know it might be a bit cheesy. Haha, but what can I say, it's a diary entry. I was thinking about doing one from Roy's POV, but I wasn't sure, since I'm trying to spend my time wisely. If you want me to make a version for Roy, please tell me. Thanks.


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